Tips to a healthy relationship.
Communication is an important part of any relationship. To help open the lines of communication between you and the men you love you must find the most effective ways to get them talking. Walking straight up to a man and sitting down directly across from him can trigger his competitive instincts. Women prefer talking to each other in a “squared up” position (i.e., across from each other), men are more likely to angle their bodies away from each other. You may have heard lots of stuff about how men and women don’t seem to speak the same language. But what’s important is to ask if you’re not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided in the first place. Never bottle up your feelings up because you’re afraid it’s not what your partner wants to hear or because you worry about sounding silly. And if you need time to think something through, the right person will give you some space to do that if you ask for it.
Women are usually more comfortable than men with the idea that spending time together will involve talking. A lot of that has to do with how we spent time with other kids when we were young. “Many men learned to develop connections through shared activities. As boys, they bonded while engaging in sports, playing video games or skateboarding; girls took part in sleepover gossip-a-thons. There is evidence that these roles have carried over to adulthood, count the groups of women versus men the next time you go for brunch (an event that revolves around eggs, coffee and face-to-face chatter). Another reason that talking while walking—or hiking or driving—can be easier for you both is that it provides ready-made conversation fodder.
Do your best to do activities together. We are not advising you to stay away from sports bars or rock concerts. Great if you can meet him on his home turf. Where he hangs out with friends is a good example. You may need to wait until the game is over to really engage him, but it will be worth the wait.
Hopefully, you and your partner are treating each other well. Stop and think about whether your relationship has the make or break qualities. Does he or she get how cool you are and why? Hopefully not only because you’re acting like someone you’re not! The key is that your partner is with you for who you are — for your great sense of humour, your love of reality TV, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you’re not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands — and would never challenge — the other person’s boundaries.
It’s OK to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There’s no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don’t trust each other. It’s tough to trust someone when one of you isn’t being honest. Trust will always be an issue after that first occurrence when she was at the movies with her friends but told you she had to work, or when she claimed the cost of that item she purchased was only $85 when the receipt showed $300. Little lies can turn into big issues. You have to build trust. You either have it or you don’t. Trust can be the foundation of good relationships. Without trust, the times ahead can be on shaky ground.
It’s not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart but can’t take being there when things are going right. In a healthy relationship, your partner is there for you with a shoulder to cry on and to celebrate the good times.
You need to have give and take in a relationship. Do you take turns choosing which new movie to see? As a couple, do you hang out with your partner’s friends as often as you hang out with yours? Not necessary to keep count but make sure things are a pretty fair balance. Things can turn bad when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way all the time. In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that doesn’t mean you should feel like you’re losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives, all that shouldn’t change. Don’t give up seeing your friends, or drop your activities you love. Feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward. But consider time for each other always.
Warnings signs in Unhealthy Relationships.
A relationship is unhealthy when it involves mean, disrespectful, controlling, or abusive behaviour. Abuse emotionally, verbally, or physically is not OK. Some people who have grown up around this kind of behaviour it can almost seem normal.
Many of us learn from watching and imitating the people close to us. So someone who has lived around violent or disrespectful behaviour may not have learned how to treat others with kindness and respect or how to expect the same treatment.
Qualities like kindness and respect are absolute requirements for a healthy relationship. Someone who doesn’t yet have this part down may need to work on it with a trained therapist before he or she is ready for a relationship. Meanwhile, even though you might feel bad or feel for someone who’s been mistreated, you need to take care of yourself — it’s not healthy to stay in a relationship that involves abusive behaviour of any kind.
When a partner uses verbal insults, mean language, nasty putdowns, gets physical by hitting or slapping, or forces someone into sexual activity, it’s an important warning sign of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.
If your partner gets angry when you don’t drop everything for him or her, criticizes the way you look or dress, stops you from seeing friends or from talking to any other guys or girls. Convinces you to quit an activity, even though you love it, physically hurts you or ever raises a hand when angry, or tries to force you to go further sexually than you want to, you are in an unhealthy relationship.
If you can think your is trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, isolate you from the rest of your world, or harm you physically or sexually, then it’s time to get out!
Let a trusted friend or family member know what’s going on and make sure you’re safe.
It can be tempting to make excuses or misinterpret violence, possessiveness, or anger as an expression of love. But even if you know that the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy. No one deserves to be hit, shoved, or forced into anything he or she doesn’t want to do
Your partner isn’t there to make you feel good about yourself if you can’t do that on your own. Focus on being happy with yourself, and don’t take on the responsibility of worrying about someone else’s happiness.
If the relationship feels like a burden or a drag instead of a joy, it might be time to think about whether it’s a healthy match for you. Someone who’s not happy or secure may have trouble being a healthy relationship partner.
Think about the qualities you value in a friendship and see how they match up with the ingredients of a healthy relationship. Work on developing those good qualities in yourself — they make you a lot more attractive to others. And if you’re already part of a pair, make sure the relationship you’re in brings out the best in both of you.
In a relationship it may sound simple, but listening is a valuable tool that requires more than just being in the same room while your partner is speaking. Giving undivided attention, and making eye contact and interacting. If you listen carefully, you are more likely to understand the problem and find a way to help.
Focusing on the positive is something that is forgotten in a relationship as time goes on. Don’t focus on the things that annoy you. If the relationship becomes more negative than positive, you will break up. Make a conscious effort to focus on the things you like about your partner. They are great qualities and are the things that first attracted you together. Write them down to remember them.”
Nagging not only creates tension, it usually gets you nowhere. Instead of saying what you don’t like, say what you would prefer. And remember to balance any criticisms with a heavy dose of positive feedback. When making a request that could be seen as nagging, take the edge off by expressing appreciation for your partner’s good qualities.
Spending more time together reinforces your sense of dedication to each other. Make these private times special by not including others. But don’t make the mistake of limiting your interaction to designated couple time. Try to enjoy each other’s company for at least a few minutes every day, especially first thing in the morning, at the end of the workday, and right before bed.
Make a special point of greeting each other at the end of the workday. If you’re home first, stop what you’re doing when your partner arrives and spend a moment together.
Physical communication is as important as emotional communication in a relationship. It relieves tension and shows your partner that you care. Always sleep together in the same bed. Just assume you’re going to have sex every night. It’s hard to fight if you’re having great sex.